Beaten, Ne'er Broken
by fandombloggingaddict
Summary: After an ambush on Arthur's patrol, Merlin is left behind. A group takes the wounded warlock, and throws him in a cell with other fighters. The cage is magic proof. The others in the cell are strong; Merlin doesn't have a chance against them when they decide to have some fun at his expense. When he gets home, recovery is not easy, especially when one of his cellmates is knighted.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: New story! Unlike any I've posted before, this whole thing is written. I just finished it, piecing it together from many notes on my phone. I've never arranged a story so easily before. I love it. Warnings: Graphic depictions of rape and beatings. I'm so sorry, it's so terrible. Poor, poor Merlin. Honestly, it doesn't get much more graphic than this. Another warning: the ending is kind of abrupt. I mean, it works for me, because I'm mostly here for the whump and don't much like excessively long wrap-ups, but you could find it dissatisfying. I don't know. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this brutal, violent, very sad story. Oh, yeah, and Arthur's hardly center stage for this - but Gwaine is absolutely there for Merlin. They're just such sweet friends. Ok, on with the despair.**

"Get us out of here!"

"Get the keys off that body there. Do it!"

Merlin didn't move. He stood stock still, watching the men grow desperate and furious.

"If you don't open the gate now," The worst of them growled, "You'll wish we killed you that first night."

The warlock's eyes flickered to the body with the keys, then to the lock, before settling on the seething men trapped in the cell. Eyes cold and determined, Merlin raised his arm, palm facing the cell. His irises glowed gold, summoning raging flames from the ground of the cell. The men yelled in surprise, then pain as the fire engulfed them. Merlin watched with a sense of justice, the fear coiled dense in his gut unraveling so he could breathe a little easier. He limped away and up cellar stairs, away from the screams in the cell.

There were still bandits fighting with the rest of the camp. Merlin eyed them warily, not willing to intervene to save the lives of any of those men. He backed away, moving along to the side of the building he'd come from.

Suddenly, someone grabbed him from behind. Merlin staggered backward in the arms of someone he couldn't see. The man let him go once they were out of sight of the fighting at the center of the camp. Merlin spun around. He froze when he recognized Doran.

"Stay back," Merlin gasped as he stepped away. "Don't touch me."

Doran raised his hands placatingly, a mocking quirk on his lips. "Wouldn't dream of it." He gestured toward the sounds of swords clanging with a nod of his head. "It's a right mess out here. Where are the boys?"

"I burned them alive," Merlin said lowly.

"Ah," Doran clicked his tongue. "Shame. We're the last two, then." He stepped forward, and the warlock took a step back to stay out of reaching distance. "We ought to stick together, then."

"What?"

Doran gestured around at the woods surrounding the small clearing with a sweep of his arms. "We're far from any village, let alone your precious Camelot. You won't make it out here alone."

"I'll be fine."

"And what about when you cross paths with more bandits, or a slave trader? Will you kill them all? I don't think you could. You need someone to watch your back."

"I could never trust someone like you."

"Look at it this way. If I do anything you don't like, you can kill me with a glance. Isn't that right, creadur?"

Merlin tensed at the mocking term of endearment. The sounds of the fighting were dying down, meaning that the last survivors, either their captors or the bandits, would soon find them.

"Okay," The warlock conceded. "Just... stay away."

"Sure," The other man lowered his hands.

With that, they headed into the cover of the woods, at a slow enough pace to accommodate Merlin's limp.

* * *

 _The raven-haired boy hit the wall and crumpled to the floor. The men laughed when he curled in on himself with a sound of fear._

 _They'd beaten him into submission several times already, when his recoiling and struggling grew to be too disruptive. Some of them laughed and goaded him on when he tried to fight back, but in the end they all wanted the same thing, and they were willing to bash his head in to get it if he was too stubborn. They made that very clear the first time._

* * *

"I found a trap," Doran explained as he came back into sight after going out to scout ahead. "We should get away from this area before we stop to cook it," He lifted the rabbit in gesture. "Don't want whoever caught it to catch us too."

Merlin looked up at the sky. Judging by the stars, they were still far from Camelot.

"Alright," He agreed. He started in the right direction.

"How did it feel?"

"How did what feel?" Merlin asked flatly.

"Punishing them. Getting your revenge."

Merlin was silent for a while.

"Hollow."

"You sound like you've seen a lot."

Merlin grunted in agreement.

"It must have been humiliating to go through what you did. You have such power, such a mind... what we did to you..." He didn't sound remorseful, but rather full of wonder.

"You're only alive because you're useful. As soon as you're more trouble than you're worth..."

"I remember saying something quite like that to you."

The warlock clenched his fists, more to restrain himself than to show anger. Doran took the hint and said no more. He watched the young man before him, silent and powerful and solemn. To think that just days before, he'd been nothing more than a sniveling wretch curled up in the corner of their cell.

* * *

 _As soon as he was thrown into the cell, there were hands on him. They shoved him between them, the men in the cell sniggering._

 _"Look at the kid, he's all skin and bones!"_

 _"We should be careful," The man holding the struggling young man by the arm joked. He pushed Merlin over to another prisoner, who punched him in the gut rather than catching him. Merlin doubled over with a wheeze. Before the man closest to him could grab hold of him, he straightened and backed into a corner. Merlin raised a hand and felt magic beginning to course through his body. His eyes flashed gold and-_

 _"Ahhh!" The warlock howled in agony and fell to his knees, head in his hands._

 _"Fool!" One of the prisoners shook his head in amusement. "This cage is warded. You can't use magic in here."_

 _Merlin looked up in dawning horror, blood dripping from his nose after the exertion of the failed spell._

 _"What do you want?" He asked, voiced edged with bravery._

 _The man who had hit him lowered to a squat before the warlock with a look of twisted amusement. "We're all prisoners here, kid. Rest of us, we're muscle. Tools that our captors bring out occasionally for any odd job or theft. Sometimes, they catch a mage and bring 'em here." He gestured behind him to the rest of the men. "But we get bored, see? Magic users are weak without powers. They don't last long with us."_

 _Merlin tried not to look phased by the dark implications behind those words. "I can help, we can work together to-"_

 _"You're not listening," The older man tutted in disapproval. "There is no way out. Those guys," He nodded toward the stairs leading up to their captors' camp, "only want the best and strongest stored down here. They don't care what happens to you. If you don't make it, well, you're not strong enough to be worth keeping anyway. That's their logic." He smiled brutishly. "Works for all of us."_

 _The man stood and grabbed Merlin, shoving him face down on the floor._

 _"What are you doing?" The warlock asked, trying to push against the ground to get up. "You don't have to do this!" His head was pulled up by his hair and smashed into the stone floor. "Please," The warlock pleaded, unable to move beneath the weight of the other prisoner._

 _"No use begging," The man said close to his ear. "But feel free to."_

 _When one of the men began pulling at the boy's clothes to tear them off, the warlock lost control. With a cry, he tried to channel all of his magic into one force to drive the men away. The cry of determination morphed into a scream as the effort drove spikes of pain through his skull. He didn't let up, though, and his attackers were moved back several paces. As soon as their hands were off of him, he stopped the magic. His screams didn't die down instantly. By the time he was quiet, he'd almost lost consciousness. He gripped his head with shaking hands and choked on the blood pouring steadily from his nose and the blood leaking from between his lips from the force with which he'd clenched his teeth._

 _"Damn fool," One of the men cursed, staring incredulously at the moaning youth on the ground. Another prisoner, enraged that the warlock had dared touch him with his magic, stormed over and placed a knee on the younger man's chest to hold him in place. He proceeded to punch the warlock in the face, over and over, determined to beat some sense and respect into him. Merlin's hands fell from his head. Each blow rang louder and louder in the silence after the magic show of force._

 _Once the other prisoners were over the weak magic that had moved them back, one of them stepped forward._

 _"That's enough, Rafe." He walked over and got the livid man's attention with a neutral hand on his shoulder. "He'll learn."_

 _Rafe glared up at him before he calmed with a chuckle. "Yes, he will." He stood and walked away, wiping his bloody knuckles on his ragged shirt._

 _"My name's Doran," The man now standing over Merlin spoke. "You'd do well to learn this now." Doran lowered to grasp Merlin's chin, making sure he listened. Merlin looked up at him with uncertain eyes. "You are expendable. You'll live as long as we get what we want. If you really want to fight back like that, you'll die quick. Whether it's the wards or us, you'll pay for resisting." He looked into Merlin's eyes for any spark of defiance. Finally, he stood and turned to the other men._

 _"Shall we?"_

* * *

Upon hearing the approaching caravan of slave traders and horse-drawn carts with carriages, Doran leaped from his bedroll. He got on top of Merlin, holding him still, and pressed a hand over the warlock's mouth. Merlin's nightmare being interrupted by the weight on his chest, the pinned man woke. When he realized that he was trapped, by Doran no less, his eyes widened. The gold had almost begun to glow before Doran looked down at him and shook his head, expression focused and serious.

"Quiet," He whispered.

Merlin heard it now, horses and men speaking. Merlin looked up at Doran in confusion. The caravan was not completely passed before Merlin tried to shake free the hand clamped over his mouth. Doran pressed down harder, annoyed. When the traders had ventured far enough that making a sound wasn't a risk, Merlin grunted and tried to move out from under the hold again.

Doran chuckled. "Reminds me of the good times."

That was enough. Merlin would not put up with this anymore. The warlock's eyes flashed gold. Doran's lecherous smile morphed into a frown and he yelped in pain, pulling his arm to his chest. The wrist of the hand that had been keeping Merlin silent had snapped under the force of the pinned man's magic. Enraged, Doran punched him hard in the jaw. Stunned by the blow at first, Merlin managed to twist free of the other man's weight. He scrambled back, breathing heavily and watching the other man with wary eyes.

Doran looked angry a bit longer before he shook his head with a sigh.

"I shouldn't have said that."

Thinking about it made Merlin shudder.

Doran got up and offered Merlin a hand. The warlock accepted reluctantly. Once he was up, Doran stood back to give him some room as he inspected his broken wrist. He prodded the joint with a wince.

Watching for any sudden movements, Merlin stepped forward and held out his hand. Doran, surprised by the open gesture, held out his wrist. Merlin took hold of it gingerly and allowed his magic to reach out to the wound. His eyes glowed gold and, with a small crack and a hiss from Doran, the bone was set and mostly healed. Doran pulled his arm back in and felt the joint. It was much better.

"Thank you."

Merlin nodded, not looking him in the eye.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Aw, look, the little one's dreaming!"_

 _The warlock was asleep. He was a light sleeper - at the first touch or sound near him, he'd startle and pull away. They were always thoroughly amused by this, waking him with a beating or by pinning him in place so he couldn't get away. But no one was really in the mood right now, so some of them watched the boy as he frowned and mumbled inaudibly._

 _"Wonder what he's dreaming about?"_

 _"Me too," One of the men said before moving stealthily to listen. He leaned in close. When he came back to the others, he looked thoughtful. "Camelot," He said quietly. "Kid's muttering about being safe in Camelot."_

 _"Let's ask."_

 _Matias gave a scheming grin and crossed the cell. He stood over the warlock. With a glance at the others, he sank down to his knees and straddled the boy. Merlin awoke at the weight on his chest. Matias pinned his arms, laughing at his struggles._

 _"Hush, now, little creadur, be still."_

 _The warlock stopped fighting the stronger man's weight, turning his head to look over at the other men with anxious eyes before he looked back up at Matias._

 _"Tell me about your dream. What did you see?"_

 _Merlin looked confused. He looked up at the ceiling as he tried to remember his dream._

 _"Camelot? Have you been there?"_

 _Realization reached the warlock's eyes, which flitted to the older man's in surprise. He didn't want to answer, didn't want them to know about something he cared about._

 _"Tell us about it. What was the dream of?"_

 _"Nothing," Merlin said apprehensively. He tensed when Matias leaned down, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head to the side when the thug's putrid breath settled on him._

 _"Are you lying to me? See, I've never heard of someone dreaming of a place they've never been to. What do you think, boys?" The other men voiced their agreement, moving closer. Merlin didn't say anything._

 _"Do you live there?"_

 _"Please," The warlock whined._

 _"Do you have a love there? I doubt any maiden would have you, you're such a little thing. Practically a maiden yourself." He shook his head with a chuckle._

 _"Camelot, hmm?" Doran recalled something. "Camelot has a history of killing magic users. If he lived there, he kept his magic a secret." The man approached._

 _"He really is a liar. He must have lied every day to live there. Otherwise, the king would have had him burned at the stake."_

 _"That's right," Matias acknowledged. "Little liar. I think he deserves to be punished for his crimes, what do you say?"_

 _Doran flashed a cold grin. "Couldn't agree more."_

* * *

When he saw the crimson capes of knights of Camelot, Merlin almost fell to the ground. Doran caught him when his knees gave out.

The relief in his body language dissolved into concern and he turned in Doran's arms. He didn't bother to pull away.

"You can't tell them," The younger man urged quietly.

"About what?"

"Me, what I can do. What I am. Please," Merlin gripped him by the shirt. "Please don't."

Doran nodded, glancing up at the approaching knights. "I won't."

"Promise."

Doran would have laughed at how naive the plea sounded if the warlock didn't look so cornered. He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders, pushing him away a bit so he could look him in the eye.

"I promise."

Merlin glanced at the approaching men in red. "We can't tell them about what happened."

Doran had to hold back a smile at that. _It's 'we' now, eh?_ "Understood."

The warlock looked relieved at that. The men on horses halted two lengths away.

"Who are you? What business do you have on the king's hunting grounds?" While the patrol guard spoke, one of the knights edged his steed forward to see who was being questioned. As soon as his eyes met Merlin's, he broke into a grin and dismounted.

"Merlin!"

Exuberant as a puppy, Gwaine bounded over and wrapped the boy in a tight hug.

"Where have you been? We've been searching for ages! Gods, the princess just will not shut up about it!"

Merlin didn't try to wriggle free, though he wanted to. He waited until Gwaine released him and stepped back. Doran was watching all of this, surprised by this development. The boy was, what, friends with a knight of Camelot? Before the warlock had to answer any questions, another horse pulled up to the scene.

"Gwaine, what are you-"

Merlin blinked when he saw Arthur. By the gods, the warlock had never expected to feel so glad to see the prat. Feeling a pressure build behind his eyes, Merlin cleared his throat to keep it from closing up. What kind of a weakling would cry right now?

Arthur would roll his eyes, he figured. He'd mock him for being so late to serve dinner or complain that his boots hadn't been polished in far too long. Merlin didn't expect him to stare in shock, to jump down from his horse and approach without a word. The servant watched in surprise.

"Merlin," The king said in disbelief.

"Arthur." Merlin wasn't sure what to think, seeing him. The servant suddenly felt uncomfortable with everyone looking at him. They were close, waiting for something to happen. There wasn't enough space in the whole damn forest for him to breathe.

"I'm sorry," Arthur blurted.

"I- you're what?" Merlin shook his head, lost. Never. Arthur never said that.

The blond looked sad. "The ambush, there was nothing I could do. We had to retreat. You getting left behind, that wasn't..."

Gwaine looked ashamed as well. "We looked for you as soon as we could, but there was nothing there. Just bodies."

Looking from Gwaine's downcast face to Arthur avoiding meeting his eyes, Merlin understood.

"It's fine. Really, it all worked out. I found an old cottage, food and a bed and all that. No worse for wear."

The king and the knight looked up at that, a little less guilty. Merlin raised his arms and put on a smile. "See? All in one piece."

"Who's this?" Gwaine asked, nodding at Doran, who watched the whole interaction with great interest.

"A friend," Doran answered confidently, not missing a beat as he clapped a hand on Merlin's shoulder. No one but the man himself noticed Merlin's small flinch. Gwaine looked to the servant for confirmation.

Merlin nodded. "Doran kept me alive when some bandits tried to give me trouble. He's a friend."

The lies were rolling off his tongue as easy as ever. Merlin felt as if each one buried him a little deeper.

A grin broke out across Gwaine's face once again. "Well, any friend of Merlin is a friend of ours!" The knight strode over and clasped Doran's hand in a welcoming gesture. Merlin took the chance to step away when Doran's hand fell from his shoulder.

"There must be some way I can repay you for your deeds, protecting him." Arthur said to Doran.

Doran looked to Merlin, who blinked back at him. The kid didn't want to tell anyone about where he'd been, which meant he wasn't at risk of punishment for what he did to the boy. And now, lo and behold, the little warlock was a dear friend of _King Arthur_? Oh, he could work with this.

"It is an honor, my lord," Doran tipped his head forward in respect. "I could not ask for anything more than to meet you. Besides, all I did was gain a friend, then defend him. Any man would do the same."

"Not any man," Arthur looked impressed, "Only an honorable one. Tell me, what is it I can give you for returning my manservant to me?"

 _Manservant!_ The powerful, solemn little warlock was thought to be a mere servant? How _amusing!_

"I can fight, sire, and I live to protect." Doran's mind explored his options, settling on the most entertaining of them all. "It would be a great honor if I were allowed to serve Camelot as one of her knights. If I am deemed worthy, of course."

Arthur looked him up and down in thought. "If you pass basic training, I don't see why not. It would be good to have an ally such as yourself."

Doran smiled charmingly. "Thank you, sire."

"Joining the ranks, huh?" Gwaine clapped him on the back. "Glad to have you."

"Alright," Arthur started back toward his steed. "We should head back. I have to call off the search party and reschedule patrols. And Merlin, I have a staggering list of chores to be dealt with immediately." Gwaine followed the king back over to the horses as Doran pulled Merlin aside.

"Manservant?"

The warlock nodded. Doran shrugged. "Right. And Arthur's, what, your friend?"

Merlin looked in his eyes, calculating and serious at the mention of the king. "I protect him. If any harm comes to him-"

"Hey, hey," Doran chided, "I'm not the bad guy, remember? I'm your friend."

Merlin looked unsure at that.

"Honestly, what happened is in the past. All I've done since we got out was help. Do you really think I'd threaten you or-" He scoffed. "The king?"

Merlin shook his head. Doran nodded. "That's good. Because when I'm a knight, we'll be on the same side. So please stop acting like I'm about to grab you and throw you down like a maiden."

Merlin winced at the brutally straightforward comment. He nodded, his mouth going dry.

"Great. Now, let's go see that castle you've been dreaming of. It must be amazing."

Merlin followed him over the the two horses proffered by the knights who volunteered to walk back to the castle. If he could just keep it together, he'd be home and he could shut out the world for a bit before returning to his place at Arthur's side. No one would know what had happened. With any luck, he could forget it himself.

* * *

 _"Go on, say it."_

 _"I-I..." Merlin stuttered and his voice faltered, his words giving way to whimpers._

 _He hated when they made him talk, when they teased him._

 _"Will you obey?" One of them asked again. They laughed as the boy struggled to string together more than just sounds of pain as he was assaulted._

 _"Don't you want to be good?"_

 _"Maybe he wants to be bad."_

 _"Yeah, maybe he likes it."_

 _Merlin gagged, his face pressed to the ground._

 _"Just say you give up."_

 _"We just wanna hear your dream - it doesn't mean anything."_

 _The pounding, the agony, the jeering taunts overwhelmed him. As the man behind him picked up the pace, he couldn't hold back a scream any longer. The cry died down into words he managed to force out._

 _"I-I submit! Please, I obey, I obey." Sobs wracked his fragile form as the assault continued. "I'll be g-good."_

 _When the man finished, he pulled out and joined the others. They all sat or leaned against the wall, watching as the warlock fell to the ground, trying and failing to get upright. He managed it eventually, balancing with one leg bent beneath him and the other bent and held to his chest. He leaned against the wall, as comfortable and concealed as he'd get. He glanced up at them, not holding eye contact with any one man too long before his eyes flickered to the ground._

 _"Tell us."_

 _The warlock nodded. "I-it wasn't long. I was in Camelot."_

 _The men clamored in recognition, having expected as much. When they looked at him once more, he continued._

 _"Um, it was sunny. The castle's really big. I stepped to the side so the top of it would block the sun. The shadow was cool."_

 _"He's a right painter with words, ain't he?" One of the men smiled toothily._

 _Merlin pressed on. "I saw my friend G-... my friend. She crossed the courtyard and handed me a flower." He almost smiled, but didn't. "Purple. She likes purple. I took it, and she said she'd get blue next time." He reached up, touching his cheek softly as she had in his dream. "To go with my eyes." He look up for a moment, his hand falling. "That was it."_

 _"Oh, come on, that's it?"_

 _"What a maiden's dream!"_

 _"What was her name?"_

 _The last comment was the most popular, spurring on a chorus of questions._

 _"Is she pretty?"_

 _"Is she your love?"_

 _"How's her hair smell?"_

 _Merlin shrunk in on himself a bit. He wished he hadn't mentioned her._

 _"Well?" One of them grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards them. Merlin skidded across to them, his knees getting scraped by the stone floor. "Tell us her name!"_

 _The warlock shook his head in refusal. He couldn't, he wouldn't let them hear it, wouldn't let them say her name._

 _One of them grabbed him by the chin, hard, and made the boy look at him. "You said you'd be good, yeah? So be good. Or you'll be punished."_

 _Merlin swallowed around a lump in his throat. "Her name's Gwen."_

 _"Gwen," The man repeated. "I like it. What's she look like?"_

 _"Please," Merlin squirmed. "She's just a friend."_

 _"Spit it out." The grip on his face was released and Merlin took a shaky breath, disgusted with himself for giving in._

 _"She's got warm eyes. She smiles when you're nice to her. She makes her own dresses, and puts flowers in her hair."_

 _"I said, what's she look like?"_

 _Merlin frowned. "I don't..." He was describing her, wasn't that what they wanted?_

 _"What'd she look like without that dress on?" One taunted._

 _The boy shook his head. "She's my friend, I-"_

 _The one that had grabbed his chin shoved him backward, pinning him to the ground by his shoulders._

 _"Go on, how's her body? She got an ample bosom?"_

 _Merlin was about to protest when he was backhanded. He let out a shuddering breath._

 _"Y-yes," He whispered._

 _"Would she be a good lay?"_

 _"I d-" The fist crashing into his jaw cut him off before he could argue._

 _"Would she? Come on, use your imagination, boy!"_

 _Another punch turned his head. His thoughts were spinning. All he could do was eke out a feeble, "Yes."_

 _"Attaboy!"_

 _The man's weight was gone. Merlin made his breaths even out, pulling himself up and back to sit in his corner again. Their attention had wandered and they were no longer watching him. Weary beyond measure, the warlock curled up, swallowing down any sounds of pain to avoid drawing attention. He tried to picture his dream again, to imagine fresh air and warm sunlight and Gwen's kind face._

 _The men had distorted the image, though, and he abandoned it with despair. He would never leave this place. He would never see his friends again. He couldn't bear to torture himself with hope._


	3. Chapter 3

"Ooh!"

The other knights cheered and cried out in sympathy with eat blow dealt as Doran practiced is sword fighting techniques against Percival. He was an aggressive duelist, and impossible to throw off balance. Percival was grinning at first, loving the challenge to his strength, but then his expression became one of focus as the clanging of metal accelerated.

With a dexterous maneuver, Doran disarmed the larger knight. Percival watched the sword fall to the grass out of reach. With a grin, the new knight threw his blade to the side as well and tackled his enormous counterpart.

The cheering grew louder as the knights wrestled. They tumbled around the area designated for practice, each getting in a few punches and gaining leverage on top before the other flipped them over.

"Have you ever seen someone wrestle Percival before?" One knight asked another, watching in awe.

"Not for more than a few seconds!"

The wrestling continued, an occasional laugh of amusement or small victory escaping the tussle. Realizing that a strategic early victory would be optimal, considering the brute strength of his opponent, Doran grappled with him so he gould swing behind him and hold the larger knight in a chokehold. Hardly applying pressure, he let up after a few seconds, to a roar of approval from the knights. Doran gave Percival a hand getting up, and shook his hand, both men beaming. Percival gave him a lighthearted shove at the shoulder, and Doran feigned a punch.

Arthur walked over to them from the group of watching knights, clapping.

"Now _that_ is practice."

Doran shrugged. "What can I say? Sometimes, you won't have a sword handy."

"Truer words have never been said. Why don't you put in some hours, train these so-called warriors in hand-to-hand? All the formal training with weapons can only go so far."

"I'll start right away."

Arthur clapped him on the shoulder, pleased. "Excellent."

* * *

Something woke him up suddenly, dragging the old man from a peaceful slumber.

There it was again! A loud noise, something breaking against the ground. He looked around, searching for something smashed open on the floor. There was nothing.

There was another crash, and Gaius got up quick as he could. Something wasn't right.

"Merlin?" He called softly, silence stretching thick after the previous bursts of noise. Something large fell to the ground with a deep thud and the physician rushed up the few stairs to Merlin's room. The door wouldn't open.

"Merlin, what is happening in there?" No matter how hard he shoved, the door barely gave an inch. There was something up against it.

He could hear the boy say something, barely audible.

"Are you alright?" Gaius stopped trying to push the door open, opting to listen for any sign of what was going on. "Merlin, can you hear me?"

There was no response. Unable to wait a moment longer to get in there, the physician rolled up his sleeves and, with a glance around the empty chambers, muttered a spell with his hands against the wood. The door blew open as something slammed into the wall beside it. Stepping inside the room, Gaius saw that it was a dresser. It had been shoved there from its place several feet away. What could move it but magic?

The old man's eyes shot over to the bed. Merlin stared at him, wide eyed and confused.

"Gaius?"

His voice sounded small. The physician stepped closer, noticing two trails of tears which glinted in the moonlight streaming in through the open window.

"What's wrong, my boy?" Gaius sat on the bed beside him. Merlin pulled away, brows drawn.

"What happened?"

Gaius looked around the room, all of his possessions strewn across the floor and the dresser shoved against the wall on its side. "A nightmare, I think. You used your magic in your sleep."

Merlin felt his face, then wiped at the tears there impatiently.

"What was the dream about?"

"Nothing," Merlin was quick to answer. He cleared his throat. "I don't remember. I'm sorry about that," He gestured around the room. "I'll clean it up."

Gaius watched him, concerned. "Merlin, you must control your magic. This can't happen again."

Merlin nodded. "I know. I'll handle it, I promise. Can you just..." He waved his hand, struggling to get the words out. "Can you leave?" His tone wasn't harsh, but painfully earnest. "Please."

"Alright," Gaius complied, standing up. "If you need anything..."

Merlin nodded quickly, looking to the door until he left. Gaius could tell that Merlin wasn't going to ask for help even if he needed it. He'd seen the boy desperate, afraid, sick, angry, prepared to die before... but this felt different. It was coming from inside the young man. Whatever it was, it was tearing the him up inside, and he couldn't stop it. Why couldn't Merlin speak of it?

It seemed like shame. What could a young man who was so utterly _good_ have to be ashamed of?

Even after he left the room and closed the door, Gaius could hear Merlin's breathing as he tried to control it, fighting back tears.

* * *

"Merlin!"

Gwaine was jogging to catch up to the servant, who didn't bother to wait for him. He just wanted to deliver Arthur's food. He felt the most normal in the king's chambers, exchanging quips and banter that he knew helped Arthur relax and focus on his duties.

"Hey, hold up!"

Gwaine caught up and tried to stop Merlin with a hand on his shoulder. The servant twisted away from the contact. He turned to face the rogue knight.

"Yes?" He asked neutrally.

Gwaine was surprised by the less-than-jovial response to being greeted by a friend, but continued anyway.

"Well, I wanted to know if you were coming to see Doran being knighted? It's tonight, he passed basic training and he said he hopes you'll make it!"

Merlin thought a second. "I go where Arthur does. I'll be there."

"Great!" Gwaine grinned. "We're going to the tavern afterward, you should join us!"

Merlin was already shaking his head halfway through the invitation. "I have a lot to get done, I can't go out tonight. But thanks." He smiled dismissively before turning away and continuing down the hall.

Gwaine watched him, his bright demeanor dying down quickly. The knight knew something was off, but he didn't know what. Then again, Merlin did get very serious sometimes, focused on work and all. Maybe he just had to loosen up.

* * *

Geoffrey spoke before all in the throne room. "The Crown now calls Doran to come before this Court and Company."

Doran stepped forward, wearing the distinctive chainmail and sweeping crimson cape of a knight of Camelot. In every right but official title, which was about to be granted, he was a knight.

Arthur stood from his throne and drew his ceremonial sword. Doran got down on bended knee before the monarch.

"Do you now swear by all that you hold sacred that you will honor and defend the Crown and Kingdom of Camelot, and all her people?"

Doran nodded reverently. "I do."

"Then, knowing that you have sworn this solemn oath, I do dub you a knight of Camelot, a defender and a warrior for this land." Arthur tilted the blade forward so that it rested on the knight's shoulder. "Arise, Sir Doran."

Doran stood to a clamoring of applause and raucous cheering from the more rowdy of the knights.

"Thank you, my lord."

Arthur clasped his arm in a regal handshake. "Thank you, Doran."

The festivities were commenced, a feast celebrating Camelot's current success and a mark of gratitude for the knights who served. The knights, now joined officially by Doran and headed by Arthur, were the center of the joy with hearty laughter.

Merlin, stood behind the king with a jug of wine, kept his eyes on the ground.

After a while, the knights grew even more jolly with the bountiful food and drinks never running dry. By the end of the festivities, some of them were outright drunk. Merlin's duties, helping clean up and accompanying Arthur to his chambers, were now doubled by having to aid the few knights stumbling from the table or lying asleep propped up against each other.

As noble as Camelot's warriors could be, they sure liked a drink.

"Merlin!" Doran came over as the servant was helping Gwaine stay upright.

"Sir Doran," The servant replied, distracted. "I'm a bit-" Gwaine nearly fell to the floor, giggling. "Busy."

"Oh, that's fine," Doran acknowledged, slurring. "I jus' wanted ta know if you'd come back to my room wiv me."

Merlin froze. He looked at the knight, who swayed a bit, flashing a cocky smile. Gwaine chuckled in his arms.

"Ooh, look at the lovebirds!" He cheered in a sing-song voice. Merlin took a measured breath.

"Come on, Gwaine, let's get you to bed." He guided the tittering knight out of the throne room and down the corridor towards the knights' chambers.

"Hey, get back here!" Doran called, straggling behind. Merlin focused forward, keeping Gwaine's feet under him.

Catching up, the new knight grabbed his arm. The servant tripped as Gwaine fell from his arms. Gwaine ended up on the floor, quiet now. Merlin tried to pull himself free of the new knight's grip, but he was held in place.

"You saying no to me?" Doran's breath reeked of mead. Merlin kept his breath even.

"I'm saying no."

"I'm a _knight_ ," The older man said, smiling despite his dark tone.

"Let go," The warlock said slowly, deliberately.

Doran cocked his head to the side. " _I'm_ saying no."

Merlin started pulling harder, straining to twist free of the tight hold on his arm.

"Come on," The knight ordered, starting down the corridor and dragging Merlin along behind him.

The servant started to panic, his eyes wide, his breathing quick and shallow.

"No," He gasped, his shoes sliding along the floor as he tried to find some purchase to pull free.

"Hey!"

Doran stopped, turning along with Merlin to see Gwaine standing behind them, the only sign of his drunkenness in a slight, unsteady swaying. He approached them, face grave.

"What're you doing?" The rogue knight asked, a curious smile flickering across his face before it was replaced by confusion. He looked down at Merlin's arm, gripped tight in the other man's hand, before looking up at Doran with nothing short of restrained rage. This time, the question was much darker, outraged. "What are you doing?"

Doran studied his face, then his own cracked into a friendly smile. He released the servant, who stumbled away, and raised his hands placatingly.

"Just messing with him, meant nothin' by it." He shrugged. "Didn't mean to get rough."

Gwaine stared a moment longer before he lightened up. He stepped back, wrapping his arm around Merlin's shoulder. Merlin's breathing was still strained.

"I know you're new to being a knight," Gwaine said pointedly, "But we don't _get rough_ with him, okay? Or anyone. 'S not that hard ta get, really."

"Understood." Doran looked a little more sober after the confrontation, even though it had ended on lighter tones. He nodded to Merlin in farewell before departing with an unbalanced stagger.

Gwaine slumped down a bit and tilted his head so it rested on Merlin's shoulder, his hair soft and warm. Merlin, still shaky, smiled a bit. Even as drunk as he was, Gwaine had his back. Maybe by chance, maybe through a drunken haze of miscommunication, but he still defended him.

"Alright, let's get moving."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is the second-to-last chapter. Just a heads up.**

Ever since the night where the young warlock had used magic in his sleep, Gaius had tried to keep an eye on Merlin. The boy was strong of will, though, and did not let anything slip again. He was focused on his work for Arthur. More polite than he used to be, always busy. He didn't stay in one place long enough to talk with anyone, really. Gaius was sure he was avoiding something. It was like he never truly got him back after he went missing on that fateful trip with Arthur and the knights.

Something must have happened. Arthur and the others were convinced by Merlin's story about finding somewhere to rest and making his way back to Camelot after he was split off from the group, but that couldn't be true. If nothing had happened, why did he seem so much more worn down? Why was he so determined to avoid interacting with anyone for more than a moment, always off to complete some chore? Why was he having such devastating nightmares?

And he hated touch. Avoided it at all times, bustling about and stepping away from anyone close. As convenient as it was for everyone else to believe his thin smiles and quick explanations, Gaius didn't think they held up.

His worries came to a head one night when he was awoken not by crashes, but by smoke.

The physician bolted up and twisted to look at the door to Merlin's room. Thick smoke billowed from the space between the door and the ceiling. Gaius hobbled as quick as he could to get there, wrenching the door open. The smoke made his eyes water, along with the bright glow of the flames. They weren't consuming some piece of furniture holding a candle, as he'd expected, but rather licking the air and walls as they burst from the stone floor itself. They hadn't reached the bed yet, but they were growing near as they devoured the chest against the wall and the stand in the corner.

"Merlin!" Gaius cried, unable to cross the room. "Merlin, wake up!"

The warlock was curled up on the bed, hugging himself and crying in his sleep. His breaths were short and sharp as he mumbled something.

"Merlin, my boy, WAKE UP!"

Merlin jolted with the cry and he winced, his eyes opening. He sat up, looking around blearily. When he saw the flames, he yelped and moved back to press against the headboard.

"Merlin!"

The warlock looked up at his guardian then, eyes so full of fear and despair that Gaius stumbled back a step. The boy looked like he'd lost everything he had, and he had nothing left to give. The old man was overcome with a need to calm him.

"It's alright, Merlin, just stop the fire!"

The boy raised one arm and, with hardly a flick of his hand, banished the starving flames. They disappeared with a hiss, the stone instantly cold as the night would have it.

Gaius stepped into the room, unable to break eye contact with his ward. "What happened?"

They both knew he wasn't talking about the fire. Merlin shook his head, eyes still locked with the physician's.

Gaius sat at the end of his bed. Merlin pulled his legs in closer so his knees were by his chin, his arms lying limp at his sides. He blinked, and a fat tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't bother to wipe it away.

"You can tell me," Gaius said softly. "My boy, you must. This can't go on."

"I won't," Merlin swore, voice weak.

"Your magic is out of control because your emotions are out of control."

"They're not," Merlin asserted. "I'm in control."

And, when he said it, Gaius could see how much he needed it to be true. He needed to be in control, to know others believed his lies and didn't come too close. Merlin didn't look like he was in control, his eyes anguished and uncertain. He looked like he was powerless and desperate to hide it.

"What happened when you were gone?"

Merlin just shook his head.

"You could have died," The physician pressed, the smoke still hanging languidly in the air around them. "I could have died. This is dangerous."

The boy looked guilty at that. He hadn't meant to start the fire. He hadn't ever meant to lose control.

"It's time to let it out. It's alright, just say what happened."

Merlin licked his lips, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the stone wall above his short headboard. His hands balled into fists and he took deep breaths. He was quiet for a long time. Gaius was just about sure he was never going to speak when the boy opened his mouth.

Merlin hesitated, his jaw working before he sighed.

"They found me in the ambush."

"Who found you?" Gaius pressed patiently.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't really know. More organized than bandits. I got hit in the fight. When I woke up, I was in a cage on a cart. The mace had knocked me out. When I tried to sit up, they stopped the cart. Made me drink this..." He winced thinking about it. "This potion. It made it hard to think. Could barely breathe, let alone reach my magic." He shifted, moving his arms to hold himself. He felt vulnerable. He didn't want to continue.

"You need to talk about it," Gaius encouraged. "Keep going."

Merlin huffed. "I thought they were slave traders. Took me to a shack, didn't look like much. Inside there were steps down to a basement, though." He chuckled hollowly. "I thought they'd move me soon after, didn't know I wouldn't see the sky again for months."

"Months?" Gaius couldn't help himself from blurting out. He'd been sure that, while Merlin's original story had been false, he'd at least been traveling for a long time to get home. He didn't think they boy had been trapped in one place the whole time.

"That's where I was," Merlin replied somberly. "There was a cage. The cellar was small, dark. They threw me in with the others and left."

"Others?"

Merlin paused. "The ambush was a way to tell who could fight. The knights used swords, they could be disarmed. But they saw me use magic. I didn't know they were ready for that, searching for it. They collected fighters, and they were down one magic user. So the cage was where they kept us. The others were strong, they were trained fighters. Didn't need a sword to kill. I was for when they needed magic to take down a caravan, rob it. But that's not..." He took a measured breath. "They never needed me for that. The cage was magic-proof. Every time I tried to use my magic, it almost killed me."

"Every time?" How many times had he tried?

The warlock nodded. "The, the others..." His voice cracked. It made him dig his fingernails into his palms. "Well, they were strong. Without magic, I... they... I couldn't..." He choked up. Gaius watched him, trying to follow his words. "I tried, but I couldn't fight. The cage." Merlin opened his eyes, staring at Gaius intently. "It was too powerful. I tried to get out, but it almost killed me. I tried to get them away, but it was too powerful. I couldn't do anything."

"Why did you have to get them away?" Gaius asked, afraid of the answer.

Merlin opened his mouth, then closed it. "I tried," His voice was quieter now. "They said if I kept fighting, they'd kill me. I had to stop. I had no choice, they..." He squeezed his eyes shut with a shudder. After a moment, he pressed on. He wouldn't say it. "After a long time, the people holding us needed a sorcerer, wanted me to attack some caravan with valuable goods. They took me out of the cage. They thought I'd be good." He considered laughing at the thought, but he was too angry. "My magic came back so fast, and I was so scared, it flooded out. The two holding me flew into the wall. Their heads cracked open. The men in the cage told me to take their keys, open the door so they could escape." He shook his head, seeing the memory like they were really before him. "They said things, trying to scare me. But I had power. So I summoned flames from the ground in the cell. They burned." He breathed, feeling the relief he had then. "They died screaming."

Gaius' eyes were wide. "And you left?"

Merlin nodded, opening his eyes. "The men who had us were fighting with some other group outside. I was keeping out of sight when I ran into him."

"Doran."

The boy nodded. "He got away in the fighting too, they took him out of the cell before me."

Gaius blinked, his stomach clenching in horror. "He was in the cell?" He was part of what had happened to the boy there?

"Yes," Merlin confirmed, forgetting no one knew that. "He..." Merlin struggled to put in to words what Doran was. "He was like the others, what they did... but he made sure they didn't kill me." Merlin frowned. "But it wasn't out of kindness. He wanted me to trust him. Like he had the most power over me."

The physician felt sick hearing this about Doran, who had successfully won the trust of Arthur and the knights, who guided Merlin to be on his side. Oh, gods, no wonder Merlin was having nightmares - not only had he been put through that torture, but he had to live with that man, had to hear his friends praise him as a _good_ man.

Merlin looked highly uncomfortable. "He said we needed each other to make it in the woods. I..." The warlock couldn't explain why he had chosen to go with him. "I knew I shouldn't trust him. Things happened where... I could see it, I could _hear_ in his voice that he had no remorse. He'd enjoyed it, he _missed_ it." He shrugged stiffly. "Maybe it's just as fun seeing me broken as it was to do it. But he did save me," The boy added quickly. "We were attacked, and they were holding me down. I couldn't get free, and it brought me back to the cell so I panicked. He tried to fight them off. Talked me down when they caught him, helped me reach my magic and take them out. He was right, I did need him."

"Merlin, he could have been manipulating you."

"I don't know," He frowned. "It's like half of him is cruel, and the other half is noble. Sometimes he protected me. I can't look past that at times."

"How do you get by, knowing what he is, knowing he's here?"

A dry chuckle. "Same way I did in the woods. I have to."

Gaius faltered at that. Merlin, as strong as he was, a young man so brave and powerful as to value destiny over his own life - he felt weak. Even after that cell, his head was being twisted by Doran, who must find pleasure in watching him crack. And now, Doran still had control after winning the trust of Camelot. Merlin was still trapped, powerless - still in that cage. His nightmares... it was incredible that he still managed to appear normal, that his dreams hadn't driven him mad yet.

"Merlin..." Gaius didn't know what to say. "I didn't know you were suffering like this."

"I know," The boy said quietly.

"I'm so sorry."

The boy felt leaden, weighed down with horror and guilt and humiliation. He knew Gaius meant well, but he felt more helpless than ever.

"What should be done about Doran?"

Merlin looked up at that. "What do you mean?"

"He cannot be allowed to stay here, look what it's doing to y-"

"Would you have him banished?" Merlin interrupted. "Executed?"

Gaius was startled by the reaction. "Banished, perhaps, or convinced to leave-"

"He saved me," Merlin said, brow cocked. "He's the reason I made it here."

"But, Merlin..." Gaius studied the boy's face as he defended that man. "Didn't he...?"

"He wasn't the worst. It's not easy to get used to, but in a place like that, your standards for what makes a good person are pretty low. He didn't have to help me."

"Did he help you? Did he stop it?"

Merlin shook his head, pressing a fist to his forehead. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Why are you defending him?"

"Just go." The boy insisted.

"I'm trying to-"

"It's hardest to control my magic when I'm angry," Merlin said, trying not to grit his teeth. "You should go."

Gaius stood. "I'll be outside," The physician said warily. He left the room, wondering if he'd pushed his ward too far.

* * *

 _The sobs were what woke him up. Everyone else was asleep. Doran rubbed his eyes with one hand and pushed himself up to sit against the wall with the other._

 _It was Matias, over in the warlock's corner. He had the boy beneath him, face pressed down into the stone floor. Matias had the boy's arms twisted up behind his back as he shoved into the thin body at a brutal pace. The warlock's cries were full of panic and pain. Doran watched curiously, head cocked to the side and eyes scanning the scene. He sure didn't mind seeing the boy in this position._

 _After a minute, though, he was no longer content sitting back and doing nothing. This wasn't the arrangement, it was wrong. They all took the boy at times, but there were turns, and he earned breaks. Matias was doing this when they were all asleep - that way, no one would stop him from going too far and breaking the kid for good. And at his current unforgiving pace, he was liable to do serious damage._

 _The boy's pitiful sounds drew Doran from his thoughts. It was time for Matias to stop. Doran stood and walked over. He was so put off by Matias' greed that he skipped the excuses and grabbed the thug by the shirt, hauling him upward and away from the kid. Matias hit the ground, shoving himself into his trousers with a growl._

 _"What was that?" The sweaty man snarled._

 _Doran eyed him dangerously. He raised his hand and pointed at the man. "Keep your hands off of him."_

 _"He yours now?" Matias hissed._

 _"You pull a stunt like that again and I'll break your neck."_

 _"I'd like to see you try."_

 _"Want to wake the others and see what they say?"_

 _Matias backed off at the threat. He retreated to his side of the cell and settled down with one last glare._

 _Doran turned back to the warlock lying at his feet. The boy was shivering and crying quietly. There was blood at his temple. Matias must have hit him hard._

 _"Hey, there," Doran said softly as he knelt at the boy's side. Merlin brought his knees up to his chest. His face was hidden behind his hands, muffling the sounds of wet gasps, hiccups, and weak sobs. "It's alright," The older man calmed, sitting cross-legged between Merlin and the other prisoners. He reached over the pale body and began rubbing circles on his back. Sure, he took part in hurting the boy, but it took a real sadist to reduce someone to this state._

 _From then on, Doran pulled the boy's trousers back on after each assault, and didn't let any of the others go that far. It wasn't out of kindness, really - he did still gladly partake, after all - but he fancied himself at least a better man than Matias._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Last chapter! Hope you like it.**

"I need your help today," Gaius called up to Merlin, who was getting dressed in his room. When the boy was ready for the day, he came down the steps, a skeptical look on his face.

"Arthur-"

"Arthur can do with another servant for a day. Do you think he expects such an old man to gather ingredients, mix tonics, _and_ clean this room?"

"No," The warlock conceded, taking up the broom leaning against the wall under the window.

Gaius shook his head in wonder. "Put that back and sit down, young man. Let an old man serve his ward a warm breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"You work too hard, and you're thin as that broom. I'm not asking. Now, you like honey in your porridge, right?"

Merlin sighed, then gave an accommodating smile. "Yeah."

The physician nodded and placed the bowl before the warlock, then returned to his apothecary's satchel to measure his freshest ingredients and put them all away. Looking over at what his guardian was organizing, Merlin did recognize that he seemed to be short on ingredients, and he was running short on other supplies. Perhaps he should search by the treeline for herbs later, and buy supplies in the market on the way.

"Stop it," Gaius said, not even looking up from his work.

"Stop what?" Merlin asked defensively.

"Thinking. Planning. Just relax and eat."

Merlin hummed in agreement, mixing his porridge absentmindedly. "I thought your life's goal was to make me work harder? I recall a few lectures about how lazy I am, how hard work would do me good." He took a bite of his food.

"That was before you started working every waking moment. There's such a thing as too much work."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," The young man mumbled, more to himself than to his companion.

"I have to deliver these remedies," Gaius stated. "While I'm gone, I need the floor swept, the dried herbs crushed, and two bottles of salve for sore muscles mixed."

Merlin moved to stand.

Gaius held up his hand, halting his movement. " _After_ you eat."

Merlin sat with a coy grin. "Of course."

Rolling his eyes, The physician left the chambers toting his satchel.

Despite his half-hearted protests, Merlin did finish the porridge. It was warm and sweet and it honestly hit the spot after a particularly rough night. His dreams weren't getting any better. As a matter of fact, he should make a point of brewing a potion for himself to try and quell them.

He'd finished sweeping half of the room before a knock sounded at the door. With a sigh, Merlin leaned the broom against the table and walked over to the door.

"Hello?" Gwaine pushed the door open before Merlin even made it there. Stepping back to make room for him to enter, the servant watched as the knight felt completely free to enter without a welcome. "Ah, there you are! Figured you'd be helping the princess today."

"Gaius needed help. What about you?"

"What about me? What?"

"Do you need something?"

"Oh! Not really," Gwaine deflected. He strolled in and leaned over to inspect a dark blue liquid bubbling in a vial.

"Don't touch," Merlin said as Gwaine poked at a bottle of green paste.

The knight turned to face him. "I have a question."

Merlin almost rolled his eyes at the other man's abrupt nature. "Okay."

"After Doran's knighting ceremony," He started, serious, "when we were all drinking?"

"Yes?" Merlin's measured response held no emotion except feigned curiosity.

Gwaine waved his hand with a chuckle. "I had more than my share, I think, because I can't remember well." He scratched his head in thought, then looked at Merlin. "What did Doran say, something about going back to his room?"

"He wanted to go to his room," Merlin amended the narrative a bit, hoping Gwaine really didn't remember. But he knew that the rogue knight could be clever when he wanted to.

"Ah," The knight tilted his head. "Then, the corridor. He followed you."

"Followed us," The servant corrected. "I was taking you to your chambers."

"Yes, that's right. He didn't have chambers near mine yet, though, because he'd only just been made a knight."

Merlin nodded, walking away to pick up the broom once more. He continued tidying the room as Gwaine spoke.

"Why did he follow us?"

"Too much mead, I'm sure."

"Was that what made him grab you?"

Merlin kept sweeping the floor. "Yes."

Gwaine came over and stopped the broom's movement by placing a hand on the handle above Merlin's own hold.

"I can't just be imagining how determined he was to bring you along."

Merlin shrugged lopsidedly. "I wouldn't say that's what happened, exactly."

"You were scared."

The statement made his line of questioning all too close, too real. Merlin took in a sharp breath and stepped away, releasing the broom and looking him in the eye.

"You're wrong."

Gwaine held up his hands, though his expression was no less earnest. "I don't think so."

"What, you don't trust him? Don't like him? That's personal, Gwaine, your business. What you're implying is a serious accusation." If he was honest with himself, it was everything Merlin was afraid he'd be told if anyone ever heard what he thought of Doran at the worst of times. But his occasional disdain for the man didn't make him evil, and it certainly did not excuse an attack on his honor, he was sure.

"I didn't say that," Gwaine reasoned, "And I said nothing of an accusation." He paused. "Accusation of what?"

"Nothing," Merlin parried, "Nothing to accuse him of. He's a knight."

"Wasn't always."

Even though Gwaine may have been trying to help, to find the source of his friend's admittedly odd behavior of late, Merlin felt completely off-balance, wholly uncomfortable with the questions. Gwaine was watching him for a reaction. He was afraid to slip up, and angry that Gwaine made him feel that way.

"You didn't see anything. Nothing happened. He's a good man. Your questions," Merlin said almost spitefully, "Are out of line."

Gwaine looked staggered by that. Out of line? Since when did he speak like that?

"Now, I have a lot of work to do. Would you mind leaving?"

The knight was speechless. He gave a conceding nod and left, mind whirling.

* * *

It might not have been his most responsible plan, but Gwaine had concocted one nevertheless. He owed it to Merlin. No matter how strangely his friend was acting, it was still _Merlin_. Something wasn't right, and the clearest source of the strange behavior was the newest addition to the tight-knit group of knights - Doran.

The newest knight was proud, and loved a celebration. It had been one reason Gwaine had come to like him. So he invited his compatriot to a knight of free ale and lovely ladies at the local tavern.

"This one's for my good buddy Gwaine, a real man! Cheers!" Doran toasted his fellow knight, to a series of similar cheers from the others in the tavern.

Gwaine smile amicably, sipping at his own tankard. At a far slower pace. While he wanted Doran to have enough drink to loosen his tongue, the rogue himself had to keep his wits about him if he was to glean any information from this excursion.

"Doran, my friend," Gwaine slapped him on the back heartily. "You are the drinking buddy of my dreams!"

"Same to you, friend, same to you!" The new knight took another swig, and Gwaine waved over the waitress to refill the jolly man's tankard.

"You know," Gwaine began causally, "I've been meaning to thank you again. For helping Merlin, that is. It means a lot."

"Sure, sure!" Doran waved the thanks away humbly.

"He speaks highly of you," Gwaine continued.

"Does he?" Doran looked pleased at that. "Very kind of him. He's a good companion."

"Mm," Gwaine hummed in thought. "Yeah, he is. Clever, kind, brave."

"Yes, yes."

"Not to mention, he's not too hard on the eyes."

Doran hesitated. "Is that so?"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed! We're young, full of life, it's hard not to look when someone's handsome. Pretty barmaid, handsome servant, a looker is a looker."

Letting his guard down a bit at that Doran nodded. "I know what you mean."

"Right?" Gwaine punched him lightly on the shoulder. "A few drinks, and he's not hard on the eyes at all."

"He's got looks, you're not wrong," Doran nodded to himself, taking another swig. "Pretty, that one is."

Gwaine maintained a leisurely posture, a friendly expression, even though anger was building like a pressure in his chest. He leaned forward, pushing on with his plan.

"What was it like?"

Doran met his eyes, still guarded despite the drink. "Whaddya mean?"

Gwaine tilted his head with a grin. "You know." Doran feigned innocent curiosity. "Oh, come on, you were alone with him all that time. With a pretty one like that?" He leaned back and took a deep breath. "I can't imagine."

Doran appraised him, trying hard to think, before he leaned forward with an intent look.

"No, you can't."

Gwaine raised his eyebrows. "Really."

Doran nodded with a slight hiccup. "That boy, he's…" He smiled fondly. "He is special."

"You must share," Gwaine leaned forward, watching the lecherous man from across the table. "Don't tell me you keep your conquests locked away like some maiden's undergarments."

Doran guffawed at the lewd words. Once he quieted down, he looked around like someone would be listening, then shook his head, smiling. "He's a lively one."

"Lively?"

The new knight nodded thoughtfully. "Lot of fight."

"Naturally," Gwaine supplied, struggling to keep his fury contained.

Doran took the more experienced knight's affirmations in stride. "You should have heard him. Oh, you should have seen him. Every time, the sounds he made…" He inhaled deeply, like he could smell the memory. Gwaine clenched his fists tightly. "We all thought it was so _cute_."

"We?" Gwaine ground out between clenched teeth. Doran didn't notice.

"Everyone got a turn, of course! Well, he had to be held down, it's so _annoying_ when he scurries away… sometimes you just have to knock him around, you know, get him right in the head. But he learns good after a while."

That was it. Gwaine couldn't do this anymore, he could not hold back. He couldn't walk out of here and report the bastard, or just threaten him. This sick _fuck_ belonged in the ground, _now._

Gwaine drew his sword and held the point to the man's throat. The other folk startled.

"My _friend_ and I need a little space," Gwaine announced darkly, staring down the now utterly confused man at sword point. The people cleared out, except for the owner.

"I don't want any blood spilled on my floor, you hear?" She demanded.

"Oh, I won't kill him here," Gwaine assured, voiced quivering in all his fury. "Out back should do fine."

"Whatever," The woman sighed, leaving like the others.

"What is this?" Doran asked, clueless.

"He's my friend," Gwaine said slowly, stepping around the table and keeping him at the end of his blade. "You hurt Merlin."

"But you…" Doran's face grew more aware. "Oh, I see. You were looking for the truth. I have some truth that I think you'll find mighty interesting."

"I don't care what you have to say, fiend." The rogue knight spat. "You're sick. Twisted, evil. No one could lay a hand on someone that _good_ and have any right to breathe the same air as him." He could barely contain his flaming ire.

" _I'm_ evil? Do you even _know_ what he is?"

"I don't care!"

The blade nicked the skin at Doran's throat, and he hissed.

"He's a sorcerer."

Gwaine hesitated.

"Ah, hit a nerve, did I? Perhaps you hate _magic_ much as the king does?"

Gwaine thought a second more, then shrugged. "Not really."

Doran blinked. "What?"

"Move," The rogue knight ordered, nudging the other man toward the door. "Let's take a walk."

* * *

The door burst open and Merlin spun on his heel, jaw dropping at the sight before him. There stood Doran, looking apprehensive, held at sword point by none other than Gwaine.

"Gwaine?" The servant asked, completely thrown off.

The knight looked beyond angry. "This piece of filth got talking in the tavern. He said he…"

Merlin looked to Doran, who shrugged with a coy quirk to his lips. The servant instantly went pale.

Gwaine noticed, digging the point of his blade a bit further into Doran's back.

"Watch it!" Doran growled.

"Don't worry, you'll be run through pretty soon, a little cut won't make a difference."

"Gwaine, no," Merlin interrupted.

"Merlin, he…"

"You can't."

"He's not your friend, Merlin. I don't know what he did to twist your mind about it, but he-"

"He didn't, it's more complicated than that. He really did save me, more than once."

"At what cost?" The knight asked emotionally. "It doesn't matter what he did on a whim, you should have _heard_ the way he talked about it."

Merlin shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

"Tell him," Gwaine demanded, pressing the sword harder against Doran's back.

"Tell him what?" The new knight avoided.

"Tell him that you used him."

"I think we all know I _used_ him," Doran chuckled.

"You know what I mean." The rogue knight was barely restraining himself from slaying the bastard where he stood.

"Alright," Doran gave in, cracking his neck with a tilt of the head and looking to the servant. "Well, it was rather silly of you to think I meant it, wasn't it, little creadur?" He chuckled as Merlin blanched. "I stopped Matias because I didn't want him to break you before your use was up. I helped you in the woods because you're fun to toy with. I mean, did you honestly think I was your _friend?_ "

"I…" Merlin blinked.

"What else is there to say, except…" Doran snickered. "I should have taken you again once we made it out. I should have kept you from finding your way back here, just found some shelter and kept you tied up. That'll all you are to me, something to use. Although, it _has_ been great fun watching you…" He waved his hand, finding the word. "Break."

"You thought we'd let you hurt him again, did you?" Growled the knight holding him a sword point.

" _We?_ What, is the king going to cut my head of before he burns the little sorcerer at the stake?"

Merlin's eyes widened, shooting to Gwaine.

The knight barked out in dry laughter. "He's our friend above all else. I don't care what he is. And, trust me," He continued darkly, "This isn't making it to the royal court. I told you I'd run you through."

"Gwaine…" Merlin protested.

"Fine, I'll just take him out to the border with Mercia, tie him up, maybe hand him off to come slave traders. That work for you?"

The warlock licked his lips. "Just… take him there, let him go. He knows if he ever comes back…" His eyes met Doran's, cold and unforgiving. "I'll kill him."

"Fair," Gwaine replied, grabbing the bastard in front of him and shoving him toward the door.

Later that evening, when he plunged his sword through Doran's gut and left him to bleed out in the woods, Gwaine gave an uncaring shrug.

"Oops."

 **A/N: Did you love it? Hate it? Leave a review with your thoughts!**


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